Naikan

Cultivating Gratitude

In our yoga class we often work on developing feelings of gratitude. But to make gratitude a spontaneous attitude a daily practice of cultivation is best. Years ago my friend, Tom Thompson, wrote a wonderful article on the practice of Naikan or developing the attitude of gratitude. He has offered me the opportunity to share this article with you in the hopes that you will begin the practice.

Once you give it a try for just a few days you’ll experience the benefits and you’ll want to make this a daily practice. Tom Thompson is co-director of The Awakened Heart Center for Conscious Living in Southern Pines, NC. You can visit his site at http://www.theawakenedheartcenter.com.

Naikan

The entire universe supports us being who we are. As we practice Naikan, we stop being victims; we stop complaining, and become masters of our lives expressing respect and gratitude in everything we do. We begin to see clearly what a wonderful gift our life is. We are sincerely grateful.

The practices of Naikan that I recommend to begin with are four. I recommend doing them for 15 to 30 minutes right before bed, right before you go to sleep, except the fourth one which you can do anytime.

1. Ask what you have received from others today. Include everything such as where did you get the bed you are sleeping on, who changed the sheets, who made the clock by your bed for you, wrote the book you are reading, who taught you how to read. Once you get the hang of it, the list is always endless and always humbling. If we tell the truth, we have always received much more than we have given.
2. What have I given to others today? Be honest. It is good to see that we have given less than we have received. It is very important not to get involved in guilt and inadequacy here — that is not the point at all. The point is to directly recognize that we are not separated, isolated creatures but part of a much greater process that transcends our limited personality. We are completely interdependent with each other. We are part and parcel of a much greater whole. As we continue to practice Naikan, we begin to recognize that everyone and everything is an aspect of this one dynamic whole.
3. What trouble have I caused others? Again, the point of this inquiry is not to create guilt or shame but rather to recognize we are far from perfect and yet this amazing universe continues to have us, support us, take care of us. As we practice Naikan, we begin to move from “I, Me, Mine” to the wholeness of “Us, We, Ours.” There is no longer a “Them” because we realized “They” are “Us”.
4. Do secret services to others in which you receive no recognition. This practice is especially useful in relationships that are going through difficult times — whether at work or at home. We stop looking for something to complain about and instead look for situations in which we may be secretly useful. We become a secret ally to our supposed foe. We become supportive to the interdependent whole that we are.

It is important to do theses practices daily and sincerely. In a very short time we will notice an amazing change in life and in ourselves. Our whole attitude changes for the better. We are actually becoming free of our self-obsessed neurotic narcissism and begin to live joyfully in every aspect of our life. If we make a sincere and deep commitment to Naikan, we can actually realize true enlightenment and be free.

Again, Naikan can be practiced by anyone of any faith or lack of faith. It requires no belief, only an honest assessment of the facts of our life. If everyone practiced Naikan, just imagine what the world would be like!

And now I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Dr. David K. Reynolds:
“I have never met a neurotic person who is filled with gratitude. And neither have you!”

~ Tom Thompson